Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

The Fun Factor

Posted: June 12, 2010 in Dating, UtoldUs Party Buddies

Long term relationshipsMost people already know how to break an ice with a potential date and achieve first meeting but many still have a challenge of holding on to relationship and turning it into something mid-term at least. What can you do to be liked? What can you do to meet again, again and again?

Ask yourself few questions first:

  1. What qualities you would want your long term partner to have?
  2. Why even have a long term partner?

Chances are some of the answers had something along the lines “It is important that he/she has common interests with me ” or “I need someone to spend good time with” or even “I would love to have someone I can have fun with”.

Now ask yourself the next question:

What may scare you off from meeting him/her again?

Chances are that you would put “He was too boring” or even  “She said she wants kids and get married”.

As you see it all comes down to how much fun you had. Fan factor is imperative in building relationships from zero. If you had fun with that person, how good looking or well educated or wealthy the other person is, all comes down in priorities. In fact way too often people end up together when they have completely different  build in mind when imagining their perfect partner. If you are trying to create a relationship during your first date try to avoid your problems, marriage, kids, future plans topics and concentrate on your hobbies, things you would love to do together, favourite food, music and interests.

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We have been hitting a lot of clubs lately and over time came to a very interesting realization – 70% of all people who go out are single! In fact it appears that sole purpose of going out, to night clubs specifically, is to get a partner. Girls come to pick guys, guys come to pick girls, or guys to pick guys, girls pick girls. By “picking” I mean, pick as a short-term or long-term partner. Almost no people come with what it seems a partner – boyfriend or girlfriend. And those who are not alone are often at early state of the relationships.

Is it that after we hook up with somebody, we no longer like to dance to loud music with couple of drinks?

One reason could be because when people are not very close, clubbing atmosphere takes attention away from negative sides of appearance and personality. Unless you are a good observer, it is unlikely that you’ll learn a lot of depth about a character, career and even appearance of someone you just met in a club. Because of the lighting and fun music, you’ll likely be more attracted to that person. Girl will look at her best with all that makeup, cute little dress and high heels. Or at least she will pick her best clothing and make her hair so you’ll like it. Meet her on the street next day, you may be surprised what you see. Guys will likely have nice perfume and dress shoes on. If not, at least they will have their favourite clean shirt and smile on. Mood is also important. In club your mood is good. You have a few drinks, chat with friends and get into a playful mood which adds to impression of meeting new people.

And this all good, great in fact. But, what happens after you get closer to your partner. Why clubs is no longer cool? Good reasons are that you find entertainment in something less public – watching a movie together, go shopping, travelling. You will still go out, but more to lounge type of venues, restaurants, wine bars that let you concentrate more on talking and listening.

So, my conclusion is:  clubs  – perfect for dating, lounges and wine bars – for deep level of relationships, comedy clubs – for very long time relationships that need a boost hehehe…

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Some people ask if UtoldUs is a dating site. The answer to this is that we do not promote it as a dating site, but it does have all the functionality to let users find a date, true love, marriage or just a party buddy. So, UtoldUs could be a great dating tool and if you have found luck here, we would love to hear about that.

Many people like to have some way to break the ice to talk to person that they never met before. The say “Hi” feature will be helpful. You can first say Hi and then see how the other person responds. Then you can try to add a person as your party buddy. We recommend you change the text of the party buddy invite to appear more unique and caring.

UtoldUs datingYou also can search for potential friends via Member Search. There are lots of options in advanced search and you can choose location, age, what music, lifestyle and party places preferences you would want your new friend to have.

Each profile will also hopefully have a photo and more information filled in about the person such as going out habits in addition to lifestyle.

Some people also like looking through fan lists of clubs they are going out to. Chances are you can meet other fans there and might as well become their party buddy on UtoldUs. Can you imagine how much easier it will be to have a first face to face conversation if you both are on UtoldUs and fans of the same club!

Be polite, proactive, nice and you will find your date. Try your luck and let us know how it’s going.

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